her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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