I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
