Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
