I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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