just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He? As in you personified your dick?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
