everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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