I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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