One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
