OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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