Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
