After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
