So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
