Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
We need to rekindle our bromance
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
