So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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