I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
