And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
