you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Randomize
