doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
