do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
So vagazzling was a success
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
