Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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