Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
OPIZZABONMYDICK
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Randomize
