Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
