If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
