is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
