Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
