I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
