from now on my penis is your penis
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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