Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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