what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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