is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
