Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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