In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
