i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
