He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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