I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
