walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Randomize
