The maid of honor just puked.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
