she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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