Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
