thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
