one two three fourrrrnication!
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
