his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
