he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
