it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
