The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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