I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
