he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
