All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
