I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Green mimosas i think yes
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
