Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
