Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
